I survived week 1

Well, that’s what I am hoping.

See, in a land far far away I once was a “really hot girl”, now not so much. The last few years have been hellatious on my body, on my mind, on my health in general. To this day it still amazes me that in just 4 years I managed to gain 70lbs, lose 20lbs, go through 3 months of knee therapy, 2 months of ankle therapy, 6 weeks on crutches, an autoimmune diagnosis, a 4 month round of inter-dermal allergy tests and countless attempts at trying to turn it all around.

In 2010 I started P90X…that lasted 3 weeks. The excuse was I lived in too small of a space, could not find a door frame to do pull ups from and had to modify too many things. I didn’t have to  modify because of my weight, just because I am that broken and out of shape. Since then it has been a variety of attempts to become fit. I am one of those anti-athletic people. I made it all the way  to about 29 smoking 2 packs a day, relying on awesome genetics to keep me at my perfect size 4 and the extent of my physical activity was dancing on a bar sloshed at 4am. Ah yes, good times.

Unfortunately, my body had other plans. I started to feel as if I was slowly dying, fully realizing that sounds overly dramatic, let me explain. You see, its funny when body decides to give, it is gradual and very abrupt at the same time. I will go in to detail later but I had no idea how many people were in the same position as me until I started talking to people in similar positions. It has been a long process, numerous specialists, crazy testing, a lot of dietary changes and attempts at following all sorts of wacky protocols.

I won’t bombard you all the gory details just yet, I will start with something a little easier to digest….Crossfit. You may have heard of it if not, you are more of a recluse than even me.  Crossfit is an elite form of fitness training. Now love it or hate t, you can’t deny that the people who do it are accomplishing things your lazy ass only dreamed of. I have never been athletic, not even close, in fact, I have never even participated in a gym class while in school. Plagued by injury, I managed to avoid most physical activity that I didn’t feel like participating in. Saying this, I chose the most intimidating form of sport possible to test the waters.

Tonight was the final Crossfit class of the week. I survived 3 this week, barely. This was my first week and I was intimidated as all hell. I had to talk my self into showing up, I am  guessing this is the same feeling one gets before a Colonoscopy. Even though I was looking forward to it, I was dreading it. I never like to be vulnerable, I mean who does? Really, I take it to extremes avoiding all activities in which I may seem foolish, may possibly fail or can’t hold my own in, in any respect. My motto: “I don’t play  if I can’t win”. If my husband didn’t agree to participate I would have bailed after day 1. It only took about 20 minutes for me to realize that I was about to get a major ass whipping….and boy did I. As I sit here doped up on Ibuprofin, ice and pumpkin seeds I am realizing that even if I want to hate it, I kinda love it.

Skinny isn’t good enough. There is something more to my goal now, maybe it’s the 30 something adult trapped inside my twenty something memories but I think I can be great. Crossfit is my means to an end…my vehicle to the land of phenomenal asses, a land where women that can get pregnant and not look like they need a orange triangle on their ass and where women can out run, jump and lift most men.  For  now it’s all about vanity but I already know as time progresses it will be about so much more.

World of Darkness

Related articles

• To CrossFit or Not to CrossFit? (informedfitspo.wordpress.com)